Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Eldorado's Boston Night

I wrote a Bio for his event.

About the Artist:

Disfigured at birth and found in a Hoboken orphanage at the age of five, Phineas "John" Lawczinski was saved from a life of squalor and hard labor by a kindly pair of "eccentric bachelors." His childhood closely resembled the tutelage of Eliza Doolittle under the watchful and kindly eyes of his own Henry Higgins and Colonel Pickering, as they insisted on being called.

Phineas, who showed great promise as a xylophone percussionist and black market cartoonist, was awarded a scholarship to Tex Avery University but declined and instead enlisted in the US Navy right out of high school, where he was promptly given the code name 'Chaos.'

A two year tour on the nuclear powered tugboat USS Coxis brought his sharp wit and good crayon skills to the attention of Navy intelligence. He was promoted and then honorably discharged.

He then spent years in Japan as a "contractor" for the US State Department. Luckily "contractor" is pronounced "Spy" in the Yakashima prefecture. With nightly gigs on the xylophone in the trendy karaoke bars, he met many young Japanese girls and described this time in his life as "Big in Japan."

Eventually his luck and good looks ran out and Phineas "John" Chaos moved back to the US to begin lab work on cell phone mind reading devices. Art has always been his creative dark side. The pornographic caricatures he was moonlighting at the Southie bus depot became an underground sensation and finally propelled him to tonight's art reception. His story is the American dream cast in iron, in black and white, for all orphans to witness.

- Exerpt from the biographical novel entitled “Get Off Me!”

By Myron Garelnik, Arts Editor, Catskills Resort Weekly

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